Portfolio Item #6 "Messages of Shame Around Gender" http://www.theatlantic.com/sexes/archive/2013/04/messages-of-shame-are-organized-around-gender/275322/

        In this fascinating piece from the Atlantic, the different ways in which each gender experiences shame are examined. For women, shame is primarily constructed around body image, lack of maternalism, hyper-sexuality, acting with agency, etc. But for men, the primary source of shame comes from being perceived as vulnerable, or worse - emotionally fragile. This is perhaps one of the biggest facets of this argument being made around toxic masculinity. Men are still a privileged class in many, many ways. But as the article points out, an emotionally vulnerable male is often met with revulsion. For women, being in touch with your emotions is not only okay, but it is expected. For men, with the genders constructed in opposition to each other, this is met with almost disgust. This is such a key component in discussing toxic elements of masculinity, as men are very much thinking, feeling human beings, and those that internalize this kind of masculinity are emotionally deadening themselves. In many cases this is extremely unhealthy and will manifest in other toxic ways, drinking or substance abuse problems (interestingly considered more acceptable in men, perhaps a more masculine way of breaking down), domestic abuse, violence and substance abuse.